Memories of a Bloodstained Autumn Leaf
by bluephoenix669
Summary: Only few words are needed in order to break a mourning and grieving heart. Only few actions are required in order to erase a frail sanity. Sasuke Uchiha learned those facts too late for his liking.  Shippuden Arc   SasuNaru


**Title:**Memories of a Bloodstained Autumn Leaf

**Couples:**SasuNaru. GaaNaru. Other couples as the story progresses.

**Summary:** Only few words are needed in order to break a mourning and grieving heart. Only few actions are required in order to erase a frail sanity. Sasuke Uchiha learned those facts too late for his liking. An alternative ending of Sasuke and Naruto's encounter at Orochimaru's hideout. (Shippuden Arc) SasuNaru

**Author's Notes:** Seeing that some of my beloved readers expressed their interest on this fanfic being translated in English and also partly because it would serve me as practice for my writing, I decided to translate my original Spanish version. I want to clarify that English ISN'T my first language so there would be grammar, spelling and syntaxes mistakes present. Any help from a Beta-Reader would be _extremely and profoundly _appreciated.

The inspiration for writing this fanfic came from a very special person: Lady Broken Doll. If you know Spanish, go read her. It is a truly delightful experience.

**Warnings: **This is a fanfic with an obscure thematic. A dark!fic to be more specific. There would be extreme amounts of violence, gore, tragedy and anguish. People looking for a romantic fanfic with a novel-happy-like ending _**would not be pleased**__. _There would be romance, but it will develop rather slowly. Understand these warnings before reading. _**I will not tolerate **_any kind of flames. Constructive criticism as well as comments and suggestions are gladly welcomed.

- Naruto is owned by Masashi Kishimoto. I use their characters for pure fun (and a secret fetish of seeing Sasuke with Naruto. They're meant to be, after all.)

Dialogue:

"Dialogue"- Present talking.

"_Dialogue"- _Past memories

_Dialogue- _Thoughts. Also applies to dream sequences.

"_**Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth**_

_**until the hour of separation"**_

**(Kahlil Gibran) **

_**Naruto POV**_

We're here, you and me, facing each other after many years.

You seem so far away, looking at me from the top of the rocky hill of Orochimaru's hideout. Your eyes look terrible, glorious in their display of inhumanity and hatred.

And I'm here on my knees watching you from afar with so much pain, so much anger and disappointment crushing at my heart.

"Sasuke..."

"Naruto"

I try to look deep into your black eyes, but I couldn't find you. Only darkness greets me.

You have changed so much. What happened to you?

"Sasuke... Why?" I murmur, my voice cracking due to effort.

You look at me with those somber, empty eyes. They are void, as lightless and bottomless as the pitch-black darkness that resides in your heart and slowly eats you away; poisoning and killing you.

Those eyes hurt me. Your emotionless façade hurt me in a way that makes me crazy. They fill my soul with so much grief.

Why can't you see the pain you're causing me? Why didn't you understand how much I'm suffering because you're not by my side?

"Why did you let me live?"

Yes. Explain it to me. Tell me why you left me behind, unconscious but alive at the Valley of the End. Why you didn't end up my life and instead, opted for torturing me with your treason.

I see you looking at me. Just you and me in this silent and destroyed place.

A spark lights your eyes, like a sudden flash in a darkened sky.

"I decided not to kill you on a whim"

Lies. I can't believe something like that. It isn't true.

Why do you lie to me, dammit?

I know there's still hope. I know I can still save you, no matter what my comrades said. I know that behind that mask of hatred, my dear friend and teammate still waits.

Even though darkness had peeled you away from me, there is still a precious bond that keeps me tied to you. That keeps you tied to me, to us.

I don't want to think that my hopes are just a utopia. I don't want to believe that hope doesn't exist.

"I give a shit about our so called "bonds", Naruto" You mutter, your voice thick with venom. I look at your eyes; mirrors of darkness. Void... cursed.

I see you taking out your sword and raising it in mid air. As I watch you sink the metal on the ground and began your hand signs in order to create a _jutsu_powerful enough to destroy us all, I wonder if you've changed so much... that you didn't even care about me now.

At what point did you stop considering me your friend? At what point you began to stop caring about me?

I lower my head, mesmerized by an intense pain rooted in my heart. I was rendered unable to think straight. Sadness slowly began to poison my insides, squeezing my heart, and taking my breath away.

He was slowly destroying my will to fight.

"You care so little about us that you want to kill us, Sasuke?" I whisper, raising my head and looking at him, watching as his black orbs quickly diverted towards me, as his hands froze, stopping the _jutsu_.

_He had heard me, the bastard._

He looks at me intensely, his dark eyes observing, analyzing. As if looking for something in my face or my eyes.

_Look at me. Feel me. Why couldn't you?_

Am I too insignificant for you? Am I so worthless that you, the person I consider my most valuable bond, are going to give me the cold shoulder and part from me, like everyone else?

"Are you going to leave too, Sasuke?" I question him, a small and sad smile grazing my exhausted face.

Your eyes are like smoldering fire, pinning me with your gaze. You drop your hands and stare. The hairs on my neck rise. Besides me, Sakura watch our exchange with eyes full of fear and pain. Sai remains silent, his dark gaze alert. Yamamoto-san expression is cold, emotionless.

"I wonder... Why you couldn't understand?" I continue questioning, my voice drifting, and my smile edgy.

_You were my first and my most precious bond, Sasuke._

_I need to tell you a secret: the sole reason I didn't became insane was because you where always there when I was little, bringing me your company. _

_Why couldn't you understand the importance your very presence means in my life?_

_Why couldn't you understand that I...?_

"Let's go, Sasuke-kun."

Orochimaru appears from nowhere, holding your wrist tight with his spidery fingers.

That damned monster who separated you from us. He, who tricked you with his sly promises and dirty manipulations.

The only thing he wants is your power. _Why couldn't you see that?_

Oh. But I know you knew that. I see it in your eyes when they look at me once again. You understand the implications of being with Orochimaru. Yet, you didn't care.

You're a being whose sole purpose in life is to fulfill the revenge life forced you to accomplish.

"Don't you realize that he only wants your body, Sasuke?" I shout at you, desperate.

Your eyes grew colder, darker.

"If so, so be it. If the price for power is my body, then I would pay it without hesitation" Your tone is impersonal, harsh.

"Sasuke, you bastard!"

_Why are you doing this to me? Why, you fucker?_

Do you like to see me suffer? Do you want to twist my humanity until it tears apart, rendering me as a horrible monster?

_You… are destroying me, Sasuke._

Our eyes meet one last time.

I want to tell you so many things: how much I have trained in order to finally defeat you and bring you back to Konoha; how I feel about you indifference, and the pain you're causing not only to me, but to Sakura-chan and Kakashi-sensei also.

But I can't. Words are stuck in my throat. My body wouldn't move. _I can't._

It's like before. It's like always. _I was never able to stop you, nor change your mind. _

You began to fade away, wrapped in wisps of crackling fire and violet chakra with Orochimaru by your side. Memories of our time together come to my head: Our battles, our constant bickering, our happy and sad moments, and our actions towards one another.

_If only you knew all the things I want to say to you._

Stay. _Please, stay._

I wanted to scream at you all the words that flood from the deepest region of my heart. And for a single moment, when we look at each other, the desire to tell you everything shows in my eyes.

Stay. Stay here...

… _with me._

But I can't. I want to, but my body wouldn't let me, my tongue wouldn't let me, my reason wouldn't let me. And as I fight, you began to fade away with the wind.

I'm desperate. _I really want to save you._

But it's useless. Though I struggle, I'm unable to do something.

The moment you disappear, everything inside me broke into thousand fragments. My body shook and fell to its knees. Angry tears began to form in my eyes, spilling over and marring my cheeks.

_After so long. After training so hard. I ended up losing you again, Sasuke._

_As always. Just like always._

You left, looking for a dark future. And I was left behind.

I'm here. Drowning in a bottomless pit of pain.

I began to realize that nothing I did until now was worth. That my efforts were futile.

"Again. Again I couldn't stop you" I mutter to myself, my eyes lost. Tears escape freely, without shame or restraint.

_Everything I did was worthless._

"I... I..."

I couldn't stop you. I couldn't reason with you. I couldn't even match your power.

I couldn't bring you back…

… _because I'm so weak._

I cannot hear Sakura's words trying to calm and comfort me, nor could feel Sai's presence besides me, his hand resting on my shoulder with gentleness far more human and emotional than expected from him.

I cannot see, feel, or hear. I'm just here. In blackness and misery.

I lose control. My fists began to hit over and over the rocky floor beneath me, breaking the ground and opening long and deep cuts on my hands. Blood splatters and seeps, mingling with the dirt.

I feel so angry. So monstrously enraged.

Sai backs away suddenly. Sakura went silent, stunned at my sudden explosion. Yamato-sensei is coming, his face showing alertness.

But I don't care. The anger is threatening to rip my soul to shreds.

I stopped my fists and plunged my bloody hands over my face, my nails racking over my flesh. And I cry, with anger and pain. I scream like an animal whose heart had been ripped from its chest.

Sakura's eyes began to tear painfully. Sai's face contorts in a semblance of grief. Yamato kneels in front of me and tries to hold my wrists.

I open my eyes and fix them on the place where moments ago Sasuke was.

And somehow, the last figment of my sanity crumbled and tore apart, fragmenting and vanishing along with my hope.

"Sasuke..." A mere whisper.

My eyes suddenly focus on Yamato's hard stare and in the appalled faces of my comrades. A smile broke my lips... followed by a manic, desperate and savage scream.

My long, claw-like nails dug hard and deep on Yamato-sensei's chest. I grinned ferociously.

Screams of terror fill my head. Hundreds of strings began to separate me from the bloody chest of my former teacher. And I just laugh manically, while my eyes still cry rivers of dark pain.

Sasuke. Sasuke.

_Am I good to you now?_

* * *

><p><strong>2 Years Later.<strong>

Clouded blue eyes slowly opened; eyes belonging to a lone, pale figure suspended in the middle of a dark room.

Heavy iron shackles imprisoned his wrists, chains lifting his arms up in the air. More chains were tightly coiled around his body and his talons, binding him and hurting his once perfect golden skin.

Pillars of wood towered menacingly around him. On the ground, hundreds of seals were drawn, emitting dull greenish hues and giving the skin of the bound man a sickening glow.

Blue eyes drifted, looking at the black ceiling. His irises shone slightly.

"_Naruto, please stop it! For Kami's sake, Naruto!"_

"_Na... Naruto. What... are you... doing?"_

_Splatters of blood fell on his face. His claws dug harder on the taut flesh. Brown eyes looked at him with fear and incredulity._

"_Please... Naruto. I... I know it's difficult but you need to... calm down."_

"_Release Yamato-sensei, Naruto! We will bring Sasuke back, we will help you! But please... Naruto!"_

"_No"_

"_I can't..."_

_Blood seeping. Cries of horror filling his ears. A thunderous maniacal laugh escaping his lips._

"_No... NO!"_

He dropped his face, strands of blonde hair covering his shallow features.

"_We must take dramatic measures. This time "it" went out of control, Tenzou"_

"_But he doesn't deserve this!"_

"_He's a monster. Monsters don't deserve any type of compassion."_

"_We can control him, Homura-san. We cannot do this to him..."_

"_Could you control "it"? Do you think we are blind fools? If I remember correctly, Tenzou told us once he would be able to control "it" and look. That monster almost killed him."_

"_But... Koharu-sama..."_

"_No buts. That little devil would be locked up indefinitely. We will take "its" case in our hands. We couldn't afford Akatsuki to know about this incident and attempt to tear "it" apart from Konoha."_

"_Naruto is a human being! He's innocent! I cannot tolerate you treating him that way. It's not his fault he has a demon inside him!"_

"_You're mistaken, Miss Haruno. He was never classified as a human being to begin with. He's the jinchuriki of the Kyuubi. He is a powerful weapon that needs to be controlled. We will contain him, or kill him. Stick to our orders or suffer the consequences."_

He raised his head once again, with effort. His gaze flickered towards the glass wall at a distance, from which several ANBU were watching him. Among them, a woman with bright pink hair, a masked man with gray hair and a man with pale skin and black eyes where looking at him.

"_, Yamato-sensei. I swear I'm sorry. Please, don't do this to me!"_

"_I can't, Naruto. Orders are orders. I'm sorry."_

"_Sakura! Sakura! Please don't do this! Sai! Kakashi-sensei! Please! I didn't want to hurt you. I swear!"_

"_Oh, Naruto!"_

"_We're sorry, Naruto. We couldn't do anything."_

_Thousand of chains wrapped around his trembling and convulsive body. He painfully screamed._

"_I'm sorry. I'm not a monster. I don't want to be locked! Yamato-sensei, Kakashi-sensei, Sakura, Sai! Help me!"_

"_Naruto..."_

"_Naruto!"_

A little, defeated smile grazed pale, shaped lips. A smile intending to be as bright as his past smiles, and that miserably failed, losing its joy and looking almost withered.

"I'm so sorry…"

His smile slowly faded; blue eyes obscured; fine rivers of pure, diamond like tears flowing slowly, marring his hollow cheeks.

Blue orbs focused at the people behind the glass wall, seeing their expressions drastically changing.

Their faces looked so pale. He saw Sakura crying, Sai patting her shoulder awkwardly. He saw Kakashi-sensei's dull grey eyes.

_Are they worried about me? I wonder why…_

Naruto wanted to smile again, but he was in so much pain that he couldn't even afford to move his lips.

He knew he was mad. After all, that was why he was locked in this dark, hellish jail. His uncontrolled anger had rendered him unstable. His pain and hatred had finally surfaced, making him do the unspeakable and locking him forever.

_I'm so sorry. But it is too late for that, isn't it? Too late…_

Naruto focused his eyes on the black ceiling.

"I would like to… see sunlight again."

He wanted to feel the caress of the autumn breeze on his skin. He wanted to hear his friend's laughs, his teacher's scolds… At least one final time.

But most of all, Naruto longed to see him. Despite knowing that because of him he was here, suffering for his own insanity and weaknesses.

Despite the harsh words, and the constant betrayal… Naruto longed for him so much, it almost hurt.

_I didn't want to hurt Yamato-sensei_

_I didn't want to scare Sakura-chan and Sai_

_I only wanted to save him. But I wasn't strong enough…_

_If only I could… set time back and do things right. If only I trained more, if only I were stronger…_

_If only I could see you one last time, Sasuke… I would die happily._

His tears dangled from his chin and fell, landing heavily on the seal-covered floor and making it shine with sickening greenish hues.

Losing himself, Naruto closed his eyes.

_I have said "I'm sorry" too many times…_

A hoarse chuckle escaped from his thin lips; devoid of happiness, devoid of hope. A dark, humorless chuckle whose echo bounced on the black walls.

… _It doesn't matter anymore._


End file.
